Do you spend a lot of time waiting? I feel like at the moment I am waiting, but also embracing life today- as I try to always do. I know how lucky I am.
I was waiting to start University, but now I’m waiting for the other people on my course to settle in. To go out for an evening drink (yes!) but not clubbing all night with lectures the next day (no thanks..). To get to class on time. To realise that the course is serious, and full- time. We need to concentrate, and oh could we work together on x? To get beyond the ‘I grew up here and this is how I lived’. It doesn’t matter much- this is how we live now, and we need to get on with it. You know?
It’s funny getting to know people day by day. Who arrives late, who’s early, who hasn’t read the emails, who invites you out but doesn’t contact you, who asks for your number, who can’t figure out how to use the university online system intuitively. It really sounds like I’m being horribly judgemental but .. isn’t everyone judging everyone? I am keeping as open a mind as I can. I just want to know who my friends will be, who will support me, if anyone. Because if it’s not going to work, then I want to know. I just want to settle down!
I am just really not enjoying being back in education- especially with a bunch of girls. All this politics isn’t my thing. I just want people to be nice, and to want to hang out with me once in a while. Boyfriend says I have it all wrong, and that everyone feels this way- like they’re tagging along. Maybe I talk too much. I definitely think too much.
This makes my heart catch, waiting for the future. Things are a bit uncertain right now with Boyfriend’s job so it’s especially poignant. If he’s told he’s not cruel enough for the company, and is sacked, then it might take a little longer to get over there. But on the other hand, we may just do things differently. Everything could change, and that wouldn’t be a bad thing. Where we live, university, jobs, wedding, children, emigration. It might have a different timeline from what we were anticipating. And that’s fine.