female hair loss

Hair

In a twist, the very thing I didn’t want to happen did happen, and so I was prepared for it, because I had thought about it in detail.

The doctor today told me that it isn’t the iron levels, it isn’t hormones: there is nothing to fix, it’s just what it is. (It’s erm.. Female pattern hair loss. Now there’s a loaded term).

She launched straight into the options now: cosmetic. Covering it up, mousses pills etc. But I went to her to fix the problem, not hide it. She told me there is nothing to fix.

I’ve never been one for make up, straightening my hair, push up padded bras. For me, a mousse that you sleep with in every night is in the same category. While you’re on it, you have hair. When you stop- it’ll all fall out. It’s not the option for me.

So now I learn to embrace it. To embrace all of me.

I reject the ‘fighting it’ terminology. There is nothing to ‘fight’. It is what it is.

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NaBloPoMo

National Blog Publishing Month? Wait a sec, I’ll check. Oh, Posting Month. That makes sense.
So I’m going to give this a go. Show up, day after day. Let’s see.

1. It’s late. When I clicked new post it was 12.34 o’clock, a favourite of mine. You can tell I’m not at home as I’m rarely up at this time there. I’m staying at my parents house.

2. Today I went to dinner with some school friends. It was lovely. I walked a friend back to hers and was invited in for jasmine tea.

3. I’ve given up cereal for a little while. Last week, while I was busy, I ate lots of bowls of it. It’s only Cheerios (and fruit & fibre) but it was the craving part I came to hate. I was thinking of it between meals, after meals, during meals. And we’ve always had Cheerios around, and I never really had them much before. So I said stop. It’s worked already; now it’s not an option, I have only thought of them once.

4. I have an appointment tomorrow with a hair loss specialist. They’ll take a full history, look at previous blood test results and perhaps take a biopsy from my scalp (!). I’m a little nervous- mainly at the thought of not finding any answers. Of being that person, on the endless quest for a diagnosis. Trying this and testing for that. We’ll see- it could be something simple.

5. I had been craving char sui bao for a while (and dim sum in general) so I found a place recommended online (it specifically said popular with local Chinese community – a good sign) and put it on my calendar for today, since it’s near the train station. When I got there I looked at the price on the menu outside, counted my coins then went in and ordered it, and a tap water. When I’d finished, I left my £3, with 40p tip and left. It was a little strange but perfect. They had given me more than a delicious meal- they had hit the spot, and been completely non-judgemental (I didn’t have any more money, and there was a £12 minimum card payment!). It’s called Ho’s, on Vicar Lane, Leeds. I’ll be back, with Boyfriend, and next time we’ll order a full meal and a half.
Oh! Whilst there I saw a boy meeting his girlfriends parents for the first time. He was wearing a tie, looked completely baffled and was being studiously ignored by the father and peered at by the mother. Poor thing.

Till tomorrow (or really, later today).