In Two Parts

I agreed to go out for dinner with a group of people from a netball class that I used to go to sometimes but have now quit. It’s tonight (which is yesterday). This morning, boyfriend said that his friend S (who’s girlfriend E is the one who took me to the class originally) suggested that they meet us after the dinner to have drinks with us. I agree to this plan. I then get a text from E saying that some of the other people in the group want to ‘go out’ after the dinner, so we could do that then get a taxi back to hers and boyfriend and I can stay over. As I was having a brief (yay!) dip into depression the previous 24 hours, it shook me. (Side note- been ages since I’ve had more than a day or so of it- by ages I mean at least 4-6 weeks. Feel blessed and lucky.) I thought I’d do a little before and after piece.

BEFORE: REASONS/THOUGHTS

/ I immediately thought she meant a club (this may not be the case) / I don’t know these people very well at all / The attendees at the netball classes are mainly 30 year olds, and 17 year olds- we’re in the uncomfortable middle / I have been to a club maybe twice, both times with my Boyfriend, since I went to Malia over 3 years ago / I don’t want anyone to touch me / I don’t drink any more because I hate saying stupid things with anyone other than boyfriend or family / I don’t want to stay in their spare room because I like being at home and they have cats / Going out for dinner is enough / I’m 21 I’m supposed to know how to have fun and relax and I’m supposed to enjoy it / Boyfriend was saying some of the best nights out he’s had were when he didn’t want to go – and he still loves it but just doesn’t go / I would love to go, but only with him, to dance / what am I supposed to wear / having dinner 30/40 minutes drive away is probably enough for one evening surely? / I just want to drink water and have a starter for a main – do my thing, you know? /

Anyway, I’m going and I’m going to prepare myself for both a club and staying the night. But really I just want to drive there, eat & smile, and drive back home to Boyfriend- that’s enough apart time.

AFTER: REASONS/THOUGHTS

So I went, and it was fine. Of course. G&T in Wetherspoons, then onto the Italian restaurant- shared garlic bread with onions and mozzarella, then chicken salad and drank tap water like most others (healthy bunch- it is a netball team). Then back to Wetherspoons- got some pitchers- had a couple of glasses of that. Had two shots, one sambuca one tequila. Didn’t buy anything myself. Had a nice time talking to a slightly older girl who has a kid, who was crazy which I loved. Got picked up by the boyfriends at about 1am. The younger girls were on the whole.. young. Mainly obsessed with rating the local clubs, each other and other people they knew. And very nervous about using their fake IDs! It wasn’t so bad- but very glad I avoided the club, (they decided it was too ‘dead’) and that this other girl had been there to talk to too. The spare room was fine, though I thought the mattress was a waterbed one until the morning when I realised I had just been drunk when I got in..

Just goes to show doesn’t it.. but what it’s showing I don’t know because when I knew they were outside  I literally ran out the door to kiss Boyfriend right on the face.

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