Bows and Strings

So today work was little more rocky as usual. Just as I was telling a mum at the school pick-up earlier that my life is pretty chilled and carefree at the moment.

I took the middle kid to her violin lesson. Turns out that her dad is waiting for her there, as he sometimes does, but this time I can’t just take the youngest kid home with me, or to the playground because she’s gone with her mum! So, the dad goes home to walk to dogs and I stay.

She gets her violin and walks over to her friendly teacher. They’re talking about playing in the concert (which she did at the Christmas one and is due to do again in a few weeks). She pronounces the concert ‘boring’ as she frequently describes everything. He asks what would make it better. She makes it clear that it’s the playing the violin part that she doesn’t like. He asks if she likes playing the violin. ‘No’. So.. he tells her to put her violin away, and that we’d better talk to Daddy because there’s not much point her being there if she doesn’t want to be. He talks about how he specialised in the violin, and that it’s very hard to enjoy playing the violin because it’s a very tricky instrument- but that she’s really good at learning it, picking it up very fast. He also says that she doesn’t really know what being bored is. That he had a ‘bad’ upbringing and had to make his own entertainment. She’s just ecstatic that she doesn’t have to play, with a big grin on her face. The music teacher calls the dad to tell him to drop back to the lesson. I’m getting nervous by this point, as is the girl, her smile is fading, because her dad has a habit of getting angry. I don’t want her to be in trouble. Plus, I think she thought the teacher was joking but suddenly it’s kind of a Big Deal. I’m worried about her. The atmosphere is quite tense. He arrives, he tells him what happened. Kid is silent by this point, totally silent and withdrawn. We go home, chat over what happened- come to agreement that it was a strange way to react to a kid, quite abrupt. They want her to continue going, even though she is insistent she really doesn’t want to. We shall see.

It upset me. It brought back memories of teachers, and school. Of adults making a joke but then it dawns on you they are serious, and that they’re angry. And they’re talking differently, and you can’t quite follow the conversation but you know they’re talking about you. Everyone is talking about you! About realising you might have done something wrong, but you just told the truth. Of authority figures who turn on you, when you thought they were on your side. I definitely still find this hard- even though it wasn’t me in the middle this time.

I just wanted her to be OK. Why is this 6 year old sent to 2 hours of tuition at two separate centres, and a violin lesson every week- when she says she doesn’t want to do any of it? I’ve written about this before. It’s still hard.




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