So… boyfriend sleep talks. Quite a lot. I absolutely love it, it is so funny. I don’t think I’ve ever discovered anything that’s as funny ((apart from my own jokes) as someone talking as if midway through a conversation but they’re actually asleep. The best part is that he’s always outraged when I pick him up on it. He always says that he’s just having a conversation but …… no one was talking. I am cracking up as I write this. It is so good. I’ve written down some of the real gems, just for you.

  1. I’M NOT GOING IN (while he was really stressed at work. When I woke up in the morning I had to check he had actually gone in..)
  2. Oh thanks, yeah just put it on the side. I’ll be up a minute.
  3. hahah (what are you laughing at?) Just you, holding up my goggles for me…
  4. Yeah we’ll just get that one.. No, that one!
  5. Just funny- I’m in a brand new bed, I’ve never been here before. And now it’s going to have loads of people in it! (That’s news to me..)

The worst was when he said ‘There’s someone in the room’. I screamed and burst into tears, we turned the light on. He was annoyed that I woke him up. And then we both immediately went back to sleep. Funny in retrospect, but at the time.. so scared. It usually only happens when he’s asleep but his concious self knows that I’m still awake.

He thinks that ‘it’s all very questionable’.


  1. That is pretty funny!!!! There was a time where the alarm system on our house would talk to us.. It was a loud speaker heard throughout the house. One night at like 2 am we hear “PHONE LINE, CUT”.. I just laid there wondering when the masked intruder would come in and kill me.. Turns out the power flickered which caused the phone line to flicker or apparently be “cut”.

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