H

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(To read about the beginning of this adventure please click here)

H for Hanging upside down, Hurtling, High speed Heights…on rollercoasters. I think this is a bit of a cheat, as we’ve been to two theme parks together already last summer. Anyway, we went to Flamingo Land- which I hadn’t been to but he had.

Firstly, let me tell you there was no one there. No one. We saw maybe … 20 people? And this is a full size park, with multiple serious rides. But we had to ask the staff to operate those rides for us. It was awkward. It was also very windy, but sunny. The shops were all closed, sensibly.

We went on the new ride first- totally unprepared for it. I felt like I’d just woken up and yet I was strapped into a harness.. We tried a swinging boat one, which we tried to keep straight faces on as our stomachs were pulled to the ground. Then we visited their zoo. No flamingos. But there was a baby giraffe which is my favourite animal. They run like they’re flying. Rhinos, balding camels (disgusting creatures), lions, birds, sealions, fish. The aquarium was totally dark, and the floor was soaked- slightly alarming.  We tried to go on a ride called Flip Flop but the man in his box pretended he wasn’t there. So we went on one that looked like giant shoes. We thought it was going to be reasonably tame. Once it started however, we noticed that there was a cushion attached to the top of the box we were in, because we were going upside down. Slowly and painfully. It reminded me of being swung around the dancefloor of my dad’s birthday party by my godfather over a decade ago. Just unpleasant. We returned to Flip Flop and were actually joined by some other people! That ride went on for a really long time. I followed the safety instructions of being ‘braced at all times’. The harness had a bar at about chin level, that appeared to have been bitten into and then secured together with gaffa tape. Getting out of my chair I hit my groin only to see that another girl had done the exact same thing- our male partners had more of a preservation instinct. We went to the casino section, where he lost 20p trying to push coins over the edge. I told him they’re all glued down but he didn’t believe me.

On the way home we got sandwiches. I had a hot pork and apple one, and I was amazingly actually allowed to eat it in the car. He usually forces me to wait till we’ve arrived home, and the food is cold. It was delicious. Far superior to his ham salad. Though obviously I didn’t try his, as it had salad cream in. He’s really learning how to avoid me stealing his food.

It was a good day. Lots of g-force.

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