Hello

it’s been a little while, I’m not going to apologise because erm I’m not sorry? This is a space I’m going to continue to use, when the mood strikes but has been slightly overtaken by my own daily journalling on the Day One app, and my university course. I’m in a place now where I absorb, via bloglovin’ and instagram but don’t make any/much public content myself. Like all the other blogs that are closing down, or slowing up, at the moment.

I’d love to see you over on the gram, where I’ll be updating a little more frequently, and at the same time keeping things a little less anonymous.

Round Up

Written in early January.
So, my initial thoughts (as always) is that 2013 was a good year- just fine you know? But let’s sum it up and see if I have anything more to say by the end..
// January.
[Bad start to this post, hazy already.] Boyfriend was working hard at his job, and I was just going with the flow.
// February
Ditto? Set up this blog, here on wordpress rather than on tumblr. I gave up chocolate, which lasted for 6 months. Boyfriend bought me a huge bunch of roses for valentines day. He bought a fish tank, and began collecting strange things in it; Shrimp and snails etc. We did some yoga together.
// March
It was still snowing. His job was hard. I learnt and wrote about unschooling. I beat everyone at bowling at my neice and mum’s joint birthday party.
// April
He got fired/left his crappy/well paid job, and started working as a courier. Cue, crazy month where I was adjusting to him being home so much, and he was adjusting to being free. He turned 24. We considered the idea of him getting a job in London and me skipping Uni but decided to go with the original plan. He set up a business renting our marquees with a couple of friends. I reached 1000 views and 100 likes here on the blog.
// May
He bought a new van. We signed the lease for a new flat, closer into town. Was at the birth of my third niece in London. Boyfriend was still sleep talking. I confirmed my place at University. Boyfriend’s family bought some land in Canada!
// June
We moved house, and realised that it really is the nightmare that people have described it as.
My sister came to visit me. I started working full days with the eldest boy; bad times. Had to stop working at a local special needs nursery, where I had fallen in love with a little boy who was up for adoption. I did a collaboration on the blog, which I got very excited over. The middle girl had a traumatic violin lesson, that really affected me. I bought a rice cooker.
// July
My parents came to visit 2 weeks after we’d moved into our new place. My nannying job ended and I hung around for a while. Bit of an identity crisis- that continued for a while. I watched lots of Nip/Tuck and Vikings. He began applying for more jobs; train driver, for a charity, etc.
// August
Went to France to my family’s house; Boyfriend there for the first week and by myself the second week. Don’t like being by myself! Lots of interesting discussions with my eldest sister about life and love, etc. Doubts about upping sticks to very rural Canada. Began daily journalling, first on Oh Life. Caught a bit of carnival in London, woop.
// September
Progressive nerves about big changes. Apparently I had dreams about my teeth cracking. Started University, and it wasn’t quite what I’d expected, but slowly got into the swing of things. Sold my old car. We celebrated 2 years, minus the actual celebration. Began journalling on evernote instead. Boyfriend did the important exam for his personal pilot’s license. Gave up on alphabet project. The noisy neighbour saga began.
// October
My brother came to stay with us. I had my first student rep meeting. Went to dinner with my old family. I got obsessed with listening to podcasts.
// November
I met his extended family down near London. We had a lovely fireworks night. My first placement, on a tiny baby ward. Nerve wracking, and unpleasant. Made me doubt the course in general. Tried Days app for photo journal but didn’t like it. Boyfriend had a very important job interview- we’ll hear the results before end of Jan! Celebrated birthdays in London with a family brunch. I realised I’ve made a real university friend.
// December
Boyfriend made a new flying friend. Bought a new car, fiat 500! Signed on to a new flat. I turned 21, with my best birthday in memory. Chauffeur, hotel, trampolining, decadent if slightly strange carrot cake, dressed up frozen pizza living room picnic. We moved house, and it was pretty stressful but not as bad. I went France to see my family, queue more life crisis. Switched daily journal to Day One app.
So, lots happened. 3 different houses, 4 different vehicles between us. Start of Uni, end of both of our jobs, many job applications.
Some Goals
/ This year is going to be the year I grow my hair back. No more donating blood (big sad face for that) and gotta take my iron supplements every day. Had blood tests last week to rule anything super bad out, and at the doctors a few days before that he informed me I had had an iron level of 14 in October 2012; normal range being 10 to 100 (but some doctors say 20 to 100)- so thanks for that, GP surgery- you were supposed to call me if anything looked strange.
I will grow this hair back, I want it thick and lucious like it was when I was a kid- and like all my siblings.
/ I want to stay active- not slip back into passive like I was while Boyfriend was at his tough job. It was necessary for survival at that time, but now I need to make sure I represent myself and make my choices, not let them happen.
/ I want to keep working on widening our list of meals, making them more veg-heavy.
/ Who knows what 2014 will bring?
Potentially; essays and placements for me- lots of learning and discovering, engagement, total life gear change & happiness if he gets this pilot job (though it wouldn’t start till 2015)  Fingers crossed no more house moves this year, and no babies just yet,

Stock

Making : the mistake of eating sugar, creating an endless crave consume cycle that may never end. 
Cooking : nothing yet, but later hot dogs and tomorrow broccoli frittatas for my January new recipe. 
Drinking : nothing – but you’ve inspired me to dig out my bottle of water
Reading: blogs- what else! 
Wanting: my headache to go away 
Looking: into quitting sugar- one day a week or cold turkey for a bit? 
Playing: Milky Chance remixes from the fantastic soundtrack of the youth blog. 
Wasting: Nothing really. I have nowhere I need to be, nothing I need to be doing. Tomorrow there are things to do but not right now. 
Wishing: we knew the answer to this endless job application opportunity 
Enjoying: this song 
Waiting: always waiting – though doing my best to appreciate the every day, don’t want to be a wait-er. I said that exact sentence last night, when I realised the joke but it was too serious a time to point it out. I also don’t want to be a waiter, but doubt I’ll ever be one. 
Liking: a funny text 
Wondering: about this course, and my future involvement with it.. 
Loving: my boyfriend 
Hoping: he’ll be back soon, and be a whirlwind of happiness not grump. 
Marvelling: at how one blog post breeds more. 
Needing: the last instalment of a trilogy I’m into 
Smelling: nothing. my conditioner a little 
Wearing: jeans and a black cashmere jumper (ultra lux) 
Following: this music blog in future more closely 
Noticing: I shouldn’t have sat for so long on this kitchen bench at my laptop
Knowing: that all is well      
Thinking: today is better than yesterday. concious effort. 
Feeling: more calm, more pleasant, more happy. 
Opening: up my tablet for some netflix time 
Giggling: I hope so 
Feeling; this improved my mood, or maybe that was the music.
 
18.38 30.01.14 it’s code!  

Days

I wrote this a few weeks ago. 

Inspired by; http://residencyinmotherhood.com/mothers-days/#!prettyPhoto

/ Sunday /
midnight- our dinner guests are still here 
1.46- They leave to go home 
1.50 I take out contacts, brush my teeth and unpin my hair to put it into a pony tail. Sleep after analysing our conversation with the guests. Tell him he shouldn’t have brought up homeschooling. 
11.40- Boyfriend stirs and starts browsing on his phone. I think it’s about 8 oclock and try to stay asleep. 
11.53- I ask what time it is, he tells me it’s past 12. This is very unusual. Can’t remember last time we slept past 9.30, but we’re usually in bed by 10.30pm. 
12.10- After chatting for a while, and phone browsing my stomach is growling too much so I get up. 
12.12- He gets in the shower and I head to the kitchen to take iron pill with some water, and contraceptive. Put on some frozen toast. 
12.14- it’s burnt, put on another piece 
12.16- eat it standing up. take zinc tablet. 
12.30- I have a bowl of cereal, finishing my milk. We make a plan to go to supermarket to get me more milk and some pate for him. I get dressed. I put the dishwasher on. 
12.45- we drive to get fuel, and I can’t unscrew my own fuel cap. 
1- In morrisons, shopping. Get tangerines, pate, ham, baguette and 2 bottles of milk. 
1.30- Home. put dishwasher on properly this time.  I read more Mother’s Days while slowly eating baguette with pate and strawberries. He’s watching a war documentary, but since it’s narrated by Jeremy Clarkson who I hate, he considerately uses headphones. 
2.20- I make myself some ‘instant tea’- sugar and water effectively, with a nice flavour though. 
2.48- I write this. I google an ancestor who was first sea lord in the uk, to find he has his own wikipedia page. I email the link to my dad. 
3.01- we decide to go for a walk so i get changed and we put our wellies, coats and scarves on. 
we walk down to the river, up along the crest past the new built lovely houses and loop back down to the river’s edge then back through the village. 
3.45- get back, make tea for us both and sit down to our computers. i open out my newspaper and magazine bundle from yesterday, my saturday ritual. 
4.01- clipped a recipe for pear muffins (reasonably healthy) 
4.04 – opened dishwasher to allow the things to cool 
4.27 finish reading an article in the magazine about babies on the neonatal ward – where I have a placement coming up soon for my course.
4.57 I finish reading the family section of the newspaper, and look at a site dedicated to returning soft toys to children
5.01- Finish reading the cooking section 
5.05- halfway through muddling through a will self essay i realise I need to do some homework for tomorrow. 
5.21- Finish the article anyway, over a snack of spinach and a bread stick. Reply to a text from neighbours confirming drink tonight at 8 over the road. 
5.28- eat more spinach leaves, this time with balsamic 
5.40- call my mum back for a bit 
5.46- finish looking at biology notes and work out how the term is going to go from that information 
6.00- finished every single mothers day piece. 
6.05 looked at blog posts on bloglovin, including the weekly blog link roundups
6.13 really liked this 
6.30 pasta craving 
7. cuddles then start cooking, then eat.
7.58 get to the bar over the road, sir down with beer and g&t 
8.09 they’re late
8.11 they arrive. Good chat
10.05 get home
10.21 in bed 
10.30 finish updating to do list then sleep. 

Respecting Children

I’m currently writing an essay for my child nursing course about communication and relationship building with children and their families. I hit a bit of a lull, so I was googling to find some more articles. I typed in ‘lack of respect for children’. Immediately it became obvious every single result was the opposite of what I’d intended.’Children lack respect for their parents’ ‘a lack of respect is a big issue with children nowadays’ ‘need a rant- my daughter won’t respect me’ were just a few of the 125,000,000 results. It hurt, to see that. It seems very few people respect children, and all too many are demanding it from them instead. I already knew it, but to see it displayed so visually. Jolts you out your comfort zone, of thoughtful kind-to-kids blogs such as Janet Lansbury and Girls Gone Child

My List of Books, 2013

Back over here, I decided to write down every book I read in 2013, with a star rating and very short description.

I read 53 books, and 20 of them were awarded the highest rank of 4 stars.

My highest month was January, with 11 books completed, whilst it was normally more like 4 per month.

I’m going to keep doing it this year.

Let me recommend; 

The King’s Concubine, by Anne O’Brien

My dear, I wanted to tell you by Louisa Young

Belle, Lesley Pearse

All of the Crowther series by Imogen Robertson

The Examined Life, Stephen Grosz (non fiction)

All of the Game of Thrones books which I re-read some of last year.

Jodi Picoult just you know, in general.

Empress of Rome, Kate Quinn (next one perhaps later this year?)

Kiss An Angel, Susan Elizabeth Phillips- my third read.

Both the Cromwell/Henry 8th books by Hilary Mantel (new one out 2015)